Retirement As You Want It

Dying Well by Living Well: an Inspirational Video

Don't be put off by the title: this video has messages for living at any age. It also calls us to consider what legacy we are leaving for our progeny.

Oprah invited Randy Pausch, a man who looks to be in his 40s, professor at Carnegie Mellon University, and father of 3 young children to give his last lecture on her show. His last lecture...because he has only months to live. He's dying from metastatic pancreatic cancer.

He tells us how to live. Here are some of the gems from the video.

He talks about having been a kid who had dreams. Dreams of being in the NFL. That didn't happen. "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted," he likes to say.

When a coach pushed him mercilessly, he learned: people only pay that much attention to you if they care, if they think you're worth it; if they didn't, they'd ignore you. Use the attention and be grateful for it, even though it might hurt. 

As a kid, he dreamed of being a Disney imagineer. After 15 years of work, he finally got the opportunity to work on a Disney project. "Brick walls are there for a reason...to show you how much you want it."

If you live properly , he says, your dreams will come to you. Be a "Tigger," upbeat, enthusiastic, have fun." Pausch has fun every day...even though he is dying. What a message. Watch this video and tell me how it changed your day. Comment on this blog or email me at karma@LifeSpringCoaching.com

Unintended Legacies

I said in an earlier post that I think the idea of "legacy" is a rich one and I have more to mull over about that. Most of us adults reminisce about what our relatives or friends said or did that made an impression on us.

My husband Jeff often notices that he uses an obscure tool that his late father bought, one of many items he purchased that he probably never used in his lifetime. But, Jeff finds just the right opportunity to use it. And it makes him think about the legacy his father left him...of being handy and having unintentionally taught him by example to tackle any fix-it project.

My books, Women Who Could...and Did, based on life stories of high achieving scientists, artists, and equestriennes, left me an unintended legacy-- of many older women mentors. Even though I knew these women only briefly, I immersed myself in their stories in writing the book. In doing so, these women left me a legacy of how to overcome obstacles in pursuing one's passion.

Just being who we are and sharing ourselves...our beliefs, ways of looking at the world, things we collect, experiences we love, our accomplishments...we transmit those to others who are willing to receive.

Be Mindful of the Legacy You're Leaving People Around You

I went to an interesting meeting the other day about legacy, sponsored by the Life Planning Network, a one-of-a-kind organization composed of life planning specialists in all different fields. Members help people to examine and rebalance their commitments in order to create fulfilling, productive, and healthy lives in the "Third Age."

What's the Third Age? It is a new period of life made possible by our extended life expectancy. Remember (from your history books) when there was no such thing as adolescence (believe it or not, that's true)? Well, now there's a new phase of life, which some refer to as the Third Age. The exact chronological age is not important. It's more the expectation and planning for living a much longer life than our parents and grandparents anticipated. It's the idea that we are going to be around for many decades and might want to think about how to design the life we want, rather than just fall into it. My mentor coach, Lynn Meinke (Coaching Services International), just called it "positive saging," as opposed to positive aging. Don't know if she coined that term or not.

That brings up LEGACY. I'm going to write a few posts on this topic, as it's a rich one. Let me start by listing the ways one can leave a legacy, that is, a way of creating something of value that survives us. I was stunned about all the ways people thought of that I never considered a legacy. But, it made me stop and think more consciously of what impact my behaviors have on others.

Here's the list, in no particular order:

• video, audio or written memoir
• ethical will
• geneological chart
• trusts, foundations, and endowments
• heirlooms, photographs, vacation homes
• skills, passions, tools
• beliefs, values
• buildings
• mentoring
• creative work, such as painting, choreography, writing
• recipes
• blogs? how long will these last?
• family myths and stories

What do you think? Any more ways you have received a legacy from your families? Does it jog you into thinking about how your being who you are can influence future generations? I know that my 100 year old grandmother's asking me, "When are you going to finish your education?" prompted me to think about getting a PhD and doing it, even in my forties. What do you want to pass on to your family, friends, clients, and associates even during your lifetime?