Retirement As You Want It

Will You Be Dancing Into Your 90s?

When we see an old, old person in her 90's we imagine she will be decrepit, stooped over, with a walker or even a wheelchair. Imagine our surprise when this stooped over little woman bursts out in dance.

See this video, called "Mathilde's Solo." I couldn't watch it without tapping my foot and smiling.

How do we make it more probable that we will be thriving, energetic, loving our lives in our 90s?

One question: Are we loving who we are in our 50's, 60s and beyond? Or are we bemoaning our losses? losses of attractiveness, of energy, of flexibility, of resilience to injury? Are we bored with ourselves? Or do we constantly challenge ourselves to new learning, new creativity, new experiences?

I went to CVS to get a new passport photo today. I was chagrined to see the deeply carved frown mark between my eyes. In the professional photo I use, that frown mark is brushed out. "Can't you touch that up?" I asked the 20 year old kid who waited on me. "You look nice," he said.

My husband and I were digging up our veggie garden to get it ready for planting. All of a sudden, he threw down the pick axe he was heaving into the soil, yelled, and dropped down on his back. Even though he had warned me, "Watch your back," he completely forgot that he had been out of commission for weeks last fall because of herniated disks. But days later, he's still mostly pain-free, not writhing in agony as he was last fall. Why is that? Because he spent all these months strengthening his core to prevent further episodes.

How are you "strengthening your core" to steel yourself from injury, discomfort, loss of brain power, loss of enthusiasm? How are you making yourself resilient so that you too can dance at age 90-something? What are you doing to maintain your youthful exuberance while also solidifying the wisdom of maturity?

Write your stories of resiliency here in the comment section.

 

Meaning Matters, Recession Or Not

Here are some findings from the latest study done by the MetLife Mature Market Institute, a foundation that studies people in the Third Age, over age 60. "Meaning Really Matters" yields information about how meaning matters, despite worries about the economy.          

• Older people spend more time on meaning-laden activities, while those in the younger group focus on generating, managing and accumulating money. 

• Most of us lack clear vision of our future and how we can get there, but those with lower "focus" and "vision" exhibit less tendency to take positive action, and, therefore, are less apt to experience a sense of meaning.

•  Having an imbalance of focus and vision impedes progress, so re-establishing this balance is critical. Those who can "unpack" old, non-productive habits and "repack" with new responses do well.

•  While most people experience some negative triggers, those with multiple recent triggers face the most difficult challenges.

• Longevity has increased dramatically over the past decades.  Extra decades of living can mean a second or even third career, or time to volunteer, learn new skills, travel and forge new long-term relationships.

 How do you create a meaningful life for yourself ? How are you living everyday with zest?

Do You Fit Into the AARP Demographic?

Yes, you do.... fit into the AARP demographic. The magazine, AARP, the Magazine, now has one of the largest circulations in the country and their advertising revenues have gone up 14%, even in this challenging economy. How is it attracting so many of us, whereas just a little while ago, when it arrived at our door as we turned 50,we were apt to shun it as being a nasty reminder of our advanced age?

In the NY Times article "A Magazine Now Tailored to the Not Necessarily Retired" (8/23) Andrew Adam Newman writes that Boomer icons such as Dennis Quaid now are pleased to be on the cover. What has changed? AARP, of course, has just been business-savvy. They've figured out how to attract the huge Boomer population. But, perhaps we aging Boomers are more comfortable with our status, our age, our continuing to be active bodies and minds, our capacity to learn new things, including being savvy with the Internet, and on and on.

I have been involved with a getting-to-be national organization called the Life Planning Network, a group of professionals who provides services to people of the Third Age (over 50).As part of LPN, we honor ourselves as aging, saging individuals.

LPN has been involved in the Positive Aging Conference for the past few years, a well-attended meeting of people who are writing about, doing research about, providing services about, and living the Good Life over 50. Many of us now see ourselves in a completely different light from what our parents experienced. We relish the way we keep up with all that's new while honoring what's old, what we grew up with that we want to retain in our everyday life. We are proud of our accomplishments and we value what we can continue to produce, contribute, and experience.

What about you? How do you see yourself as you age? Comment here and you might be interviewed for this blog.

Want to Smile and Cry a Bit?

In "Britain's Got Talent," the UK's version of "American Idol," 80-year old Janey Cutler belts out "No Regrets" with a voice that "shocks and awes" her gigantic audience, including the people who appear to be the critics. I don't watch TV, so I don't know, but do Americans bring people onto talent shows who are aged and wrinkled, whose hand shakes when they hold the microphone?  

Do you know old-timers who inspire and energize you? Click on Comment below and share their stories.

People With Alzheimers Volunteer Successfully at Intergenerational School

What is your most dreaded image of aging? Is it getting Alzheimer's Disease? If so, you're not alone. If you have a parent who contracted this condition, you know 1st-hand how tragic it can be to be with a parent who does not remember that you just came to visit yesterday, or worse still, does not know who you are.

Peter Whitehouse, MD and his wife Catherine, have been involved in this field for many years and Dr. Whitehouse has become a sought after expert in this field. He and Catherine spoke to the audience at the Positive Aging Conference in December '09 about the message in his book, The Myth of Alzheimers and about the Intergenerational School, which he and his wife started in Cleveland, Ohio. 

The Intergenerational School, a charter school located in a poor community, is based upon the belief that children learn best in an environment where they are exposed to teachers and learners of all different ages.   

Because of Dr. Whitehouse's decades of path-breaking research about Alzheimer's Disease, they decided to incorporate people with Alzheimer's into the classrooms as tutors and assistants. There are multi-age classrooms; everyone is both teacher and learner.

The people with Alzheimer's didn't necessarily remember all the details of their having been there in the past days, but their capacity to be in the moment allowed them to be powerfully engaged with the children. Storytelling, dancing, singing -- all of these activities were deeply meaningful to the children resulting in excellent test scores of the children ages 5-14 over a 5-year period.

The well-being of the people with Alzheimers and other memory loss conditions also benefited enormously from their volunteering. What better way to create a win-win for all involved. Check out the videos and interviews on the TIS website.

How to Create an Eden Alternative for Your Later Years

"The existence of a 'positive aging' conference is a symptom of a deep malignancy," declared keynote speaker Dr. Bill Thomas, noted gerontologist and founder of the Eden Alternative, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to creating environments for elders that are worth living in.The assumption is that aging is bad and the mission of this conference is to demonstrate otherwise. 

70 million people are approaching elderhood. America has worshipped the cult of adulthood, Thomas explained, valuing such attributes as:

• independence
• Strength
• Vigor
• Earning power
• To-do lists
• Being an authority

Even children are acculturated to be "little adults" and have been invaded by adult cult values. They're evaluated by what they DO, less so for who they are.

How does this apply to the huge influx of people who are entering their elder years? There are those of us who are:

• the Denialists - which applies to almost all of American society. Aging is not going to happen to ME, they insist!
• The Realists accept that aging is happening, but do their best to fight it off. They exercise, take supplement, take adventure vacations.
• The Enthusiasts recognize that although it's painful, they want to "explore undiscovered country." They find it exciting to embrace this new stage of life  - they consider themselves the "Krones, " the wise ones.

The Enthusiasts can lead the way to new frontiers, to challenge the prevailing adult archetype that values Doing over Being. This new voice can modulate demands on the universe's resource and on our children. It can help to create a richer environment where values of being can flourish.

What are you doing for yourself or your elder relatives to prepare for an "eden alternative?"

Japan's Women's Baseball Team Runs Again After 50 Years

The Osaka Silver Sisters, (see video) who were stars of pro baseball in their teens and twenties, are now in their 70s. Fifty years later, eleven of them decided to resurrect their team and challenge a young men's team in a Saturday game after practicing for an hour on Fridays. "The ladies often ask me to pitch faster," says the captain of the men's team, in awe of the women's spunk and stamina. Khosaka, the 75 year-old captain of the Silver Sisters, insists they'll play till they're 80. She likes to catch behind her back, like major League Baseball star Ichiro Suzuki.

Despite some health problems the women are overjoyed to be back on the diamond, competitive as ever, feeling great when they get a hit and run fast enough to make it to first base on time. Khosaka schools her children to send her off in her baseball uniform when she dies.

What an inspirational story. See the whole article here. What do you do to keep your body moving and challenge yourself in your later years?

Money is Topic for TV Documentary Series Called "Life (Part 2)"

Are you following the TV series called Life (Part 2)? This week’s episode tackles the issue of MONEY! Why does money seem to send a message of love or not enough love? Who pays expenses when the kids want to move back in? How do adult kids, who may be struggling themselves, help their parents when they need daily  care? Who gets what after parents die? Tune in to the panel that is discussing these perplexing questions this week.

 - Social psychologist Jane Adams, author of When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us,

- Ross Levin, a financial planner and columnist for The Minneapolis Star Tribune

- Public radio "personal finance guru" Chris Farrell explains that the "Boomer generation does not want to appear greedy." 

In addition, host Robert Lipsyte sits down with Dr. Marianne Legato, author of Why Men Die First, to explore the different ways that women and men age. Dr. Legato tells Boomers what they need to know about the facts of life for the second half, including who loses their sex drive first and when the sexes start looking alike.

Money is Love – www.pbs.org/lifepart2  and http://www.pbs.org/lifepart2/watch/money-love

The corresponding YouTube video featuring Jane Adams is located here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmX-YavBO3c

 

 

PBS Documentary Highlights Boomers' Challenges & Possibilities

A new 20-part public TV series called "Life (Part 2)," hosted by award-winning journalist  Robert Lipsyte and supported by the MetLife Foundation, launches on September 16th. The shows feature roundtables of famous boomers who are facing their later years and answer the question, "What does age got to do with it?" The trailers look intriguing and provocative; they highlight the radically different way that boomers are approaching aging - with aplomb, as usual. They want to grow old with style; they're redefining the aging process, as they've done with everything else, yet they recognize that there are limitations and challenges that they're facing.

The shows cover such topics as:

*How can boomers make marriages work for decades and feel vibrant and in love?
* How does the generation gap affect boomers in interviewing for jobs and in dealing with ones' adult children?
* How can boomers provide care for their elderly relatives and still maintain their own quality of life?
* How do boomers cope with body changes, when they have prided themselves on looking and acting youthful?
* How can they keep their brains in peak condition so they can continue to contribute to their communities and families?

Executive producer, Naomi S. Boak, described the series in Paul Briand's article in Baby Boomer Examiner: "The show is designed to inspire boomers' own self-exploration of how they can make a fresh start at any age ... of how they can live 20-30 more years of vigor, engagement and impact, defying ageist stereotypes while still having a clear-eyed view of the challenges that come with this new territory."

Aging in Place Initiatives Gain Recognition With Small Grants

"Aging in Place" has become a recognizable term since the 1st Boomers reached age 60 in 2006 and will be 65 in 2011. That means there will be twice as many of us, 1 in every 5 Americans in 2030. Wow! There are a lot of us.

Whether you're a Boomer with aging parents who want to stay in their own "place," or you yourself recognize the merits of doing that, you might have an idea of how to make that more feasible. Perhaps you can get a small grant to make it happen in your community.

3 organizations have collaborated to award small grants to innovative projects around the country. MetLife Foundation (see photo), Partners for Livable Communities, and the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging have recognized these creative projects:

 - San Diego's La Mesa Park & Rec Dept sponsor an all-age drumming project to underscore the benefits of rhythm and movement and a healthy lifestyle

 - Kansas City's TJ Brown Foundation recruited home repair and lawn maintenance pros to help older adults stay in their homes

 - Arizona's Pinal-Gila Council organized Chambers of Commerce to create age-appropriate jobs for older people

If you have a burning desire to implement some little project that you know will improve the well-being and "stayability" of your parents or yourself in their own homes, you might get in touch with the sponsoring organizations to see how you can partner with a community project in your neighborhood to get a "JumpStart the Conversation" grant in place.

What ideas do you have to make it feasible, comfortable, and safe for older people to stay in their homes?