Do you want to be astonished, outraged, relieved, or just laugh alot? Are there times when you just don't get it why your very dearest friend throws cold water on your new idea, project, item of clothing, or your story about your kid's new accomplishment? Do you wonder why you don't always fantasize about your own spouse when you're having sex with him or her? Are you curious if you're the only mom or grandmom who really wants time to herself rather than be a full-time child concierge?
If you are here with me, check out owner of Mint Green Marketing, 4-time author, mom, wife, and best friend, Alyssa Dver (pronounced De Vere)'s new book, MsInformed: Wake Up Wisdom for Women. I interviewed Dver on my TV show, "Alivelihood: New Adventures As We Age" to find out how a Wharton MBA, successful marketing consultant, main support of her family, decided to write a provocative book that exposes women's secret and sometimes, embarrassing behaviors. Dver likes to reinvent herself, and this book is her new incarnation.
Dver believes that today's woman is "information-rich and confidence-poor." She consults with many women entrepreneurs who perhaps fit into this category. Women, she believes, because of their intense need to belong and feel loved and appreciated, do and say all kinds of things that do not express their true feelings. Did you ever tell a friend that she looks great in a new outfit, even though you think she looks dumpy? Did you ever refrain from telling your friend that her husband came onto you at last night's cocktail party?
The need to belong, expressed via exquisite caregiving of everyone, is the hallmark of women. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs, they often are stuck in the 3rd level of the hierarchy, rather than reaching for the highest level, which is self-actualization.
This is responsible for many women's lack of confidence, Dver says. To find out more about this phenomenon, she surveyed 195 women ages 20-80, using a confidential online tool. Here women told her some surprising "facts" about their behaviors and thoughts.I don't want to spill the beans, because much of the fun of reading this little 100 page book is the surprise factor.
Part of the surprise is that Boomer women in her survey fare better in the confidence category than their millennial children. Women over age 60 are the most confident, whereas women ages 20-29 are least confident. 92% of women over 60 report being happy with their lives. In contrast to their younger counterparts, women over 60 are less inclined to wish they had married someone different. What about you? Where do you stand in terms of your own self-confidence and sense of well-being?
Being MsInformed, Dver writes, means "you were never broken" and don't have to be fixed. The mission of her book is to alleviate some stress for her readers. She leaves us with a few words of wisdom: Don't take yourself too seriously; aim for no regrets; practice the art of apologizing when you screw up; ENJOY THE RIDE.
Good info. This answers one question of mine but it raised two more. Back to google. Thanks for the info.
Posted by: Jane Dunham | June 14, 2011 at 05:50 PM