Retirement As You Want It

Passion, Risk, and Adventure Found in Third Chapter Lives

The “Third Chapter,” a still newly defining phase of life, following the middle years, can be a time of exploration, adventure, risk-taking and new learning. Distinguished Harvard Education School sociologist, Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot’s new book, The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50, takes us on a journey to meet 40 people she interviewed across the U.S.

What did she discover about people, aged 50-75 who are embarking on a new adventure? They were crossing boundaries, much as one would in an “anthropological expedition.” Challenging themselves to leave the comfortable niche of their mid-years’ careers, they enter a world where they feel like “awkward strangers, inept travelers, vulnerable observers.”  As one of the men whom I interviewed for my TV show, “Alivelihood: New Careers As We Age” said, “I’m both the oldest and the newest,” at learning to be a stand-up comic after 30 years as a teacher.

Lawrence-Lightfoot finds that in crossing boundaries and learning to welcome ambiguity, these 3^rd Chapter folks require several talents:

• Deep curiosity to know something new
• Ability to relinquish fear of the unknown and fear of failure; being able to name the fear and take a leap of faith
• Willingness to be vulnerable, exposed to public floundering
• Embrace contradictions and integrate the new with the familiar

Do you possess these characteristics already? Do you want to learn how to nurture them so your next decades will include passion and adventure? Contact me for a complimentary strategy session to see if you're ready to take flight into this new, exciting phase of life. Email or call: 617 731 6170.

"Alivelihood: New Careers As We Age" Features Passionate New Careerists

Would you like inspiration to be more "alive," more lively, and just possibly create a new livelihood after you've left or downsized from your mid-years' career? That's what my TV show, "Alivelihood" is about. I interview people who've transitioned into new projects, as a volunteer, entrepreneur or as an employee, both part-time and full-time. Some are social activists; some are pursuing creative dreams and have entered the arts, comedy, writing. Here are a few nuggets of information and links to recent shows:

• Polaris Project chair of the board, Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman, describes the heartbreak of young people from all over the world who are taken to the US and other countries as SLAVES, yes, slaves. They are victims of human trafficking networks that exists right here in the US. The children and young people are used as prostitutes, in menial labor, and in the military at an age when our children are shuttled to soccer practice, gymnastics, and flute lessons by their moms or nannies. See video of her interview. Be patient - these take a moment to load!
• Lois Krasilovsky of Homes By Lois spent decades as a real estate agent and developer. After volunteering with her sons' service projects when they were in high school, she got the bug to "give back" and parlayed her "Homes By Lois" into an organization that goes to poor areas of the US to lend a hand in rebuilding homes and community spaces. I've written a longer post about Lois on this blog. See video.
• Linda Kenney was a patient when a medically induced trauma occurred, bringing her very near the brink of death. Instead of suing, she started MITSS, Medically Induced Trauma Support Services, the only program that provides support for patients, families, and the professional caregivers. See video.

Future shows will include a stand-up comic, photographer, graphic artists, and people working for NGOs. If you know of people who live commuting distance from the Boston area and would like an opportunity to publicize their new "careers," ask them to contact me.

The Gift of Curiosity - Can We Recapture our Childhood Passion for Learning?

Have you noticed that curiosity is de rigeur for children, but unusual for adults, especially as they age, get set in their ways, their interests, their friends, their usual patterns of doing things?

I have reviewed books by Montagu, by the gerontologist, Dr. Gene Cohen, and others who tout the value of nurturing our innate curiosity -- of the value this has for us, at any age, but especially as we get into the boomer years and beyond. It keeps our brains fresh and producing that complex dendrite formation that we need to keep our brains agile and strong. And it also keeps us pursuing a wonderful, exciting life, no matter where we are and no matter how our physical bodies are functioning.  

I just got a message from a reader, Barry Camson, who writes a blog called, "Bridges to Knowledge." In Barry's post - "The Cultivation of Curiosity" - he suggests to his corporate and business clients that we consciously decide each day to cultivate curiosity. "Identify some idea, concept or person... Pursue this curiosity through talk, Googling, Wikipedia or other wikis, in person, on the Internet, by phone and via active and conscious use of our senses. Be conscious of what we are seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, as well as experiencing." Then articulate our learning to ourselves and share with trusted people what we are learning. 

I don't know about how many dendrites are forming in my brain, but I do know that my curiosity has taken me to many new and exciting places in recent years, much more than in my middle years when I was not very risk-taking, physically or mentally.

I've learned about blogging! taught myself how to self-publish books(with lots of help from the Internet, listservs, and consultants), learned how to ride a horse at age 50, added a new career to my busy psychotherapy practice - as a life coach specializing in transitions such as retirement lifestyle planning, and have started a TV show, called "Alivelihood: New Careers As We Age.

What are you doing to enhance your life using your curiosity to learn new things? Are you stuck? Unsure what you'd be interested in doing, learning, trying, noticing? Contact me for complimentary coaching session ... if, and only if you are ready to move ahead to make your life full of wondrous new experiences.

 

Are You Experiencing Passion, Risk, and Adventure in Your Bonus Years?

Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, Harvard education professor and former chair of the board of the MacArthur Foundation, turned 64 and was struck with the inspirational stories she was hearing from peers she was meeting about their new passion in later life. Fascinated, she decided to interview these new seekers, high achieving people who relinquished their careers to pursue an entirely new path.

The outcome of these interviews is chronicled in her new book, The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50.  In an interview by David Mehegan, called "Later-Life Lessons", she responds to the question about why most of the people in her book are well educated and high-achieving? She explains that people have to feel some level of abundance to imagine that they have all the choices in the world, to recognize that they can give up their high-paying jobs and do something "from the heart."

This group, she believes, is curious by nature, always pushing themselves to acquire new knowledge and experience. They felt they no longer had an outlet for their inquisitive nature that inspired and challenged them. So, they were propelled to take a risk and choose something entirely new. This became a time to "spread our wings and take flight, to sing a new song,"

In these bonus years, when we live longer and healthier, what opportunities are you giving yourself to experience risk, adventure, and find your new passions? If you know you want to do this, but have not yet found the vehicle, contact me for coaching to your Third Chapter.

I shall review Lawrence-Lightfoot's new book and post in this column. Stay tuned.

Tips for Transitioning to New Employment for Over-50

Carleen MacKay and Brad Taft write a newsletter on the maturing workforce from a selling yourself perspective. Here are some tips for accessing new careers. See their new book called Return of the Boomers: Crossing the Bridge to the Future with the Help of a Mature Workforce

• Prepare a written strategy

• Study the market as it is becoming, not as it once was

• Analyze the GAP between what you don't have in your career portfolio that the marketplace needs

• Fill in the gaps before seeking a new job

• Use multiple marketing tools to create a resume, rather than the conventional chronological one

• Familiarize yourself with sales training vs interview training. You are SELLING YOURSELF.

• Distinguish facts from myths about older workers and be prepared to respond to interviewers subtle (and not so subtle) questions about the myths.

• Quantify the benefits of hiring you - your "sales close."

• Pursue multiple avenues - part-time, flex-time, full time, project completion.

• Build your reputation through participation in professional organizations, networking, social networking - position yourself as an expert in your field and one whom people want to have around!

See particulars at Ageless in America. When you are ready to put these principles into action, call me for a complimentary coaching session at 617 731 6170 or write to Karma@LifeSpringCoaching.com

Nourish Your Neotenous Traits for a LifeLong Youthful Spirit

I never knew the word "neoteny" until last year when I reviewed Ronda Beaman's book, You're Only Young Twice for this blog. Beaman took many of her ideas from the anthropologist Ashley Montagu's work, chronicled in Growing Young published in 1989. Neoteny refers to the continuation of youthful qualities all through the lifespan. Contrary to popular myths about aging, we are capable of "growing young" until the day we die.

Montagu provides a hopeful picture of growing older. He describes how our culture has conspired to make us believe that we need to "grow up" or grow out of our childlike wonder in order to be mature adults. He challenges that view and urges us to develop our youthful traits.

Here is a list of qualities that Montagu discusses. When you nurture and nourish them, he believed, you will stay youthful forever:

 

• Need for love and friendship
• Sensitivity to others
• Thinking soundly without stereotypes, using observation, analyses, and experimentation which babies do from Day 1

·         The need to know and learn, to become aware

·         The need to work with pleasure and freedom

·         Exercise your curiosity, your "inquisitive insatiability"

·         Express your sense of wonder and awe

·         Play at activities just for the fun of it, not restricted to a goal

·         Express your imagination through the power ofmental images of what is not present

·         Express your creativity

·         Open-mindedness

·         Flexibility

·         Explorativeness

·         Resiliency

·         Enthusiasm

·         Sense of humor

·         Joyfulness, laughter, and tears

·         Optimism

·         Honesty and trust

·         Compassion

·         Sing and dance!

Which of these traits describe you? Which do you wish to work on so that you can feel more comfortable building them into your life? Do you know people over age 50 who exemplify this picture of neoteny? Comment here and if you give me permission, I’ll interview about your neoteny.