Retirement As You Want It

More Stories of People Who've Found New Adventures in the 3rd Age

Do you need inspiration about what your next act might be? Listen to the stories of some of the people whom I've interviewed for my TV show, "Alivelihood: New Adventures As We Age."

• Florence Goulet emigrated to the US from Uganda where she grew up in a small village with parents who were illiterate, but intent on their children's being educated. She and all of her siblings went to college and when Florence came here, she decided to pass on this dedication to the children of her country. She founded a non-profit, the Stella-Rosie Foundation to help her send children in her village to school. 
  

• Jo-Ann Ross spent her middle career as a speech pathologist, a career she loved. She became renowned for working with aerobic instructors who injured their voices by having to yell over the music. But, she was ready for a change -- she always loved wine, drinking it, learning about it, researching it. She since has been trained as a high level wine educator and public speaker and is in her element passing on her love for wine to others.  

 

• Brookline Access TV Board member, Peter Miller, got his PhD after 35 years of being an ABD (all but dissertation). Even after decades of success in the field of promoting communications technology to meet the needs of underserved populations, he finds that the PhD has opened more doors for him to narrow the "digital divide." He hopes to involve more seniors in assisted living, people who live in housing projects, and teen centers into the world of computer technology.
  

Passionate People Speak About Their Lives Over 50

I've been interviewing passionate people over age 50 on my TV show, called "Alivelihood: New Adventures As We Age, for the past 4 years. Here are a few capsule summaries of recent guests:

• Joan Ditzion was an original founder of Our Bodies, Ourselves, the groundbreaking book about women's reproductive health and sexuality. It has been published in many languages and last year it celebrated its 40th year with the publication of its 9th edition. She talks about the impact that "the book" has had on her life. "I've grown up with OBOS," she gleefully declares, from being a young wife, then mother, than woman going through menopause, to grandmothering. She is thrilled to have met many of the women around the world who are translating the book's mission to reflect the culture of diverse communities.

 

• Margaret Morganroth Gullette, author of Agewise: Fighting the New Ageism in America, 
  and several other books on ageism, started her book writing career when her 1st book was just about to be featured in the major media and she was on her way to volunteer in her community's "sister city" in Nicaragua. That adventure has blossomed into a decades' long involvement where she has spearheaded many positive changes for women who want to get an education.
  
  

 

•   Dave Flanagan is a retired officer in the Coast Guard, an occupation that fascinated him for decades. Not content to withdraw from life after his exciting years on the seas, he became entranced with the bamboo he saw during his stint in Panama. Interested in conserving land, rather than seeing the rainforest and wildlife being devastated by being overly cut, he decided to work with locals to preserve it. This led to his next career, creating artful bamboo fences.
  

To see short clips of all of my shows, go to YouTube. If you are stuck about creating a joyful life after 50, these people are glorious role models of "alivelihood." I also coach people who are motivated to find their "calling," but not doing it on their own. Contact me at Karma@LifeSpringCoaching.com or Comment below this post.

Exercising Your Creativity Keeps You Vibrant in Mind and Soul

Check out my newest Huff/Post50 blog.

It’s about my exercising my creativity and how this affects us in our health, our spirit, and our motivation in all areas of life. I've written before about my starting to create art one year ago, after meeting Sandra Shuman, a wonderful creativity coach and artist on my TV show.

I got introduced by an artist friend, Lola Baltzell, to encaustic art, an ancient process of layering hot wax on a porous surface and then embedding any collaging materials onto that. I fell in love with the process and set up an art studio and create pictures a good part of the weekend.  Although I've only been doing this for a little over a year, I already think of myself differently... I look at the natural world in different ways. I notice things more. I am more present to myself and the environment. And I'm beginning to develop a new network of people who also express their innate creativity. 

See this picture and more at my Etsy shop.

Read my Huff/Post article to learn how this keeps you vibrant and healthy in ways you wouldn't expect. 

How do you want to express your creativity in the new year?

If you think you don't have a creative bone in your body, know that this is inaccurate. I found out last year! Come and work with me to find your creative gifts. I offer intro complimentary coaching meetings. Email me at Karma@LifeSpringCoaching.com.

Are You Ready to Retire Wild and Free?

Renegade author Ernie J.Zelinski has published another compelling book about how to live life to the fullest. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement wisdom that you won't get from your financial advisor (2009) breaks conventions, challenges us to think out of the box, and gives us a thoroughly good read.

Rather than the conventional advice we read in the Wall Street Journal, he counsels us to retire as early as possible and to cut back on spending, instead of waiting until we've got millions in investments awaiting our retirement. As one who did so, he can speak from experience. Zelinski and many of his admirers (whose letters he publishes in the book) have found that they just don't need that much money to have a wonderful time after leaving their full-time job.

His mantra is that "retirement can set you free." It's a time, Zelinski writes, when you can discover your true self, your calling, your creativity. No longer do you have to bow to convention, to conformity, or to pleasing the ghosts of your parents. Now you can open up to experience, create a new identity, and you never need be bored.

Zelinski provides a thought-provoking list of 100's of "Activities for your Get a Life Tree," including:

• record the history of your home town
• walk barefoot through a mountain stream
• play the guitar that's been in the closet for 26 years
• make a movie
• have a heart-to-heart talk with a friend with no planned ending time
• learn how to swim
• research the Green Tortoise bus tours and choose one to take
• visit a cemetery and find an interesting epitaph
• and 100s more

I've been getting a taste of what he's talking about in the last few years, although I'm still working. One year ago, I uncovered my artistic side. I started making pictures using an ancient form of painting called encaustic. See my store at Etsy. I even had my 1st art exhibit a few weeks ago, where I sold 1/3 of the pictures.

I also started doing improvisational acting after meeting the wonderful improv coach, Daena Giardella. It's another passion and one I can imagine devoting more time to after I'm not working so much.

If you're thinking of leaving or downsizing from your work life and don't have alot of things that grab your attention outside of work, it's time to read Zelinski's book. Incorporating some of his advice BEFORE you retire is essential. Don't go to that retirement party and think you'll take some months to sleep late, exercise more, and see what comes up the next day and days to come. Make it happen before that.

Try new things. Deepen your interests and people connections outside of work right now. Joan Gancarski, one of the people I interviewed for my TV show, "Alivelihood: New Adventures As We Age," has made a pledge to try something new every day. That keeps her fresh and vibrant, which is not commonplace in people of any age.

Brain research tells us that the more we challenge ourselves to try new things, the more likely we are to avoid any form of dementia. Aside from the joy of new experiences, we are apt to keep ourselves brain-healthy until the day we die with this simple wisdom.

If you're at a loss about how to start to live wild and free, get in touch for a complimentary coaching conversation on the phone or Skype.

 

How to Thrive Over 50 in Huffington Post

See my blog post in the new edition of Huffington Post called Huff/Post50. www.huffingtonpost.com/karma-kitaj I write about how to thrive in the 3rd Age, focusing attention on some of the research that the positive psychology field has been doing. I remember decades ago that my mother used to write things she was grateful for in her gratitude journal. I guess this stuff has been around for a long time. It's "deceptively simple," as someone has commented on the Huff/Post blog. But, if you practice it regularly, you can apparently change the way your brain operates. If you go to the Huff/Post entry, mentioned above, please scroll down to the bottom and leave your comment. In order to do so, you have to either:

• sign into Huffington Post
• comment through your Facebook page
• or through Twitter

 

For Those Who Are Bored With Their Leisure

I recently wrote a chapter for an upcoming ebook about aging smart, to be published in December. My chapter is about leisure and play. Ernie Zelinski's book, The Joy of Not Working: A book for the retired, unemployed, and overworked gave me alot of inspiration.   


"Being unable to retire can be a tragedy, as can the actual act of retiring," wrote Zelinski. We all know of people who have looked forward to retirement for years, only to find they are utterly at loose ends, knowing nothing about how to use their time, finding themselves doing busy work, watching alot of TV, going to the gym every day and getting bored with that. Some mourn the identity they left behind. Some might get depressed.

Zelinski says he's hardly ever had a full-time job, sometimes has lived on very little money, but has NEVER been bored. How can we achieve that state of zest, a sense of being alive, loving to explore and experience the world?

The key to thoroughly enjoying your leisure time, he writes, is to PAY ATTENTION. What does this mean? When we pay attention to the world around us, we notice opportunities everywhere. It might take a different mindset, the practice of opening our minds to the new, to detail, to things we've taken for granted that are right in our midst. It reminds me of what meditation people call a "beginner's mind."

Remember what it was like to be with young children when they encounter something new (everything!), that wide-eyed wonder and excitement? Well, that's just what paying attention with a beginner's mind is about.

One of the chapters in this book is titled: "Somebody is Boring Me; I Think It Is Me." I love that. I sometimes ask my bored clients, "Are you boring yourself?" in an effort to jolt them into self-awareness. If you are bored, consider how to do the following:

• think or do something unusual
• make a difference in someone's life
• let go of need to fit in and please others
• become your own source of satisfaction
• stop blaming others for your bored unfulfilled life
• credit yourself when you do feel fulfilled

"You may be living, but are you alive," he asks. Get involved in ACTIVE activities. Be in the moment.

If you are having difficulty getting past your own gremlins to change your mindset to an ALIVE one, rather than a half-dead one, contact me at Karma@LifeSpringCoaching.com. I'll show you how.

 

The Great Artists' Lives Are Models for Reinventing Your Life

I never thought of myself as being a creative person... until last year when I was introduced to collage and acrylic painting by an inspirational creativity coach named Sandra Shuman. Since then I have blossomed with creativity and passion for learning and experimenting with my creativity, not only with visual arts, but in refashioning my life.

Fred Mandell, co-author with Kathleen Jordan, of Becoming a Life Change Artist: 7 Creative Skills to Reinvent Yourself at Any Stage of Life, writes that anyone is capable of being creative. I believe it now, although I always maintained that one had to be born with a gift of creativity, like my late artist-brother R.B. Kitaj. But, creativity is not just confined to doing art work or composing music or poetry. No, the authors apply the concept of creativity to any life change.

Mandell and Jordan studied biographies of the great artists of the Western world and culled out several processes that they went through to create their masterpieces. Ordinary people utilize these same processes as they go through life changes, the authors write. They become "life change artists."

Not everyone who goes through a life change, though, is a "life change artist." But, everyone has the capacity to encounter a life change in a creative manner, according to the authors. And, to the extent one does, one may live creatively, much as the great artists did.

What does it take?

• Prepare yourself for change by doing activities that take you out of your comfort zone, just a little, and take you out of your normal routines
• Allow yourself to see in new ways by exposing yourself to new connections, fresh perspectives, alternative interpretations
• Familiarize yourself with the contexts within which you are now and the ones you might segue into
• Embrace uncertainty by welcoming opportunities
• Take risks by taking action without certainty of outcome
• Develop collaborative working relationships, which are the "combustion chamber of creativity"
• Be disciplined even when you're not intensely motivated

See... you too can be a Rembrandt, Matisse, or O'Keefe when it comes to making life changes. Mandell and Jordan's book is filled with compelling stories about the great artists, as well as people whom they interviewed who made big life changes. It appears to me, however, that when we use these "creative skills" for even mundane life changes, it propels us toward a more fulfilling outcome.

What life changes are you facing? How might you use the 7 creative skills to enhance your approach to this life change?

A Call For a New Stage Between Midlife and Old Age

The media likes to scare us with dire predictions of what is going to happen when the huge boomer population grays - apocalyptic pronouncements dominate the news. Bankrupting social security and Medicare; streets full of walkers instead of strollers; overstressed health care system; fears that young people will be neglected in favor of this large population of needy "codgers."

Marc Freedman's new book, The Big Shift: Navigating the New Stage Beyong Midlife, urges readers to invent the parameters of an entirely new stage of life, much like we needed to do 100 years ago when there was no such thing as "adolescence. This new stage is so new, that there is not even a name for it. It encompasses decades in between middle age and old age. Contrary to what media pundits say, people in this new stage are ripe for contributing to society in hugely meaningful ways. A far cry from codgers ambulating with walkers.

Freedman is known for his groundbreaking book, Encore: Finding Work That Matters in the Second Half of Life, and for creating the Purpose Prize and Civic Ventures, programs that showcase active, vibrant Third Agers, who contribute to society in the spheres of health care, education, and social service.

Freedman makes a plea for relinquishing our love affair with youthfulness as we age, for abandoning the designation "senior," and instead, for celebrating the opportunities that 3rd agers have to contribute in a significant way beyond self and family. This is a time of "active wisdom, " of "robust personal growth," he writes.

"So how do we turn the period that's been opening beyond midlife from a season all too often characterized by identity-void, economic disengagement .... into something that has a shot of being the new crown of life?" He offers 10 steps toward creating a new stage, including, e.g., an Encore Bill, reminiscent of the GI Bill, to "help people develop their human capital and transition into new roles." As ever, Freedman is the consummate spokesperson for making this new stage one that showcases the many opportunities that this group has to make the world a better place for future generations. A far cry from the apocalyptic predictions we normally read in the media.

 

For Boomer Women Only - "Wake Up Wisdom for Women"

Do you want to be astonished, outraged, relieved, or just laugh alot? Are there times when you just don't get it why your very dearest friend throws cold water on your new idea, project, item of clothing, or your story about your kid's new accomplishment? Do you wonder why you don't always fantasize about your own spouse when you're having sex with him or her? Are you curious if you're the only mom or grandmom who really wants time to herself rather than be a full-time child concierge?

If you are here with me, check out owner of Mint Green Marketing, 4-time author, mom, wife, and best friend, Alyssa Dver (pronounced De Vere)'s new book, MsInformed: Wake Up Wisdom for Women. I interviewed Dver on my TV show, "Alivelihood: New Adventures As We Age" to find out how a Wharton MBA, successful marketing consultant, main support of her family, decided to write a provocative book that exposes women's secret and sometimes, embarrassing behaviors. Dver likes to reinvent herself, and this book is her new incarnation.

Dver believes that today's woman is "information-rich and confidence-poor." She consults with many women entrepreneurs who perhaps fit into this category. Women, she believes, because of their intense need to belong and feel loved and appreciated, do and say all kinds of things that do not express their true feelings. Did you ever tell a friend that she looks great in a new outfit, even though you think she looks dumpy? Did you ever refrain from telling your friend that her husband came onto you at last night's cocktail party? 

The need to belong, expressed via exquisite caregiving of everyone, is the hallmark of women. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs, they often are stuck in the 3rd level of the hierarchy, rather than reaching for the highest level, which is self-actualization.

This is responsible for many women's lack of confidence, Dver says. To find out more about this phenomenon, she surveyed 195 women ages 20-80, using a confidential online tool. Here women told her some surprising "facts" about their behaviors and thoughts.I don't want to spill the beans, because much of the fun of reading this little 100 page book is the surprise factor.

Part of the surprise is that Boomer women in her survey fare better in the confidence category than their millennial children. Women over age 60 are the most confident, whereas women ages 20-29 are least confident. 92% of women over 60 report being happy with their lives. In contrast to their younger counterparts, women over 60 are less inclined to wish they had married someone different. What about you? Where do you stand in terms of your own self-confidence and sense of well-being?

Being MsInformed, Dver writes, means "you were never broken" and don't have to be fixed. The mission of her book is to alleviate some stress for her readers. She leaves us with a few words of wisdom: Don't take yourself too seriously; aim for no regrets; practice the art of apologizing when you screw up; ENJOY THE RIDE.

 

 

 

New Book About Passionate People in the 2nd Half of Life is Delicious to Read

Bruce Frankel, author of What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life: True Stories of Finding Success, Passion, and New Meaning in the Second Half of Life, gathered stories of people that will amaze you. Each one is delicious to read about. There is Thomas Dwyer, a 70-something man who had never danced, who joined a dance troupe after leaving his career as a US  intelligence officer overseas."He extends lanky, marionette-like arms and moves his 127 pound frame on flamingo-thin legs. ... A whispering curiosity spreads through the audience as the usual assumptions about what an elderly body can do clash with his sinewy defiance of them."

Consider Alidra Solday who decided to document the story of Doris Haddock, a 90-year old woman who walked across the US to call attention to the need for campaign finance reform. A newbie to being a documentarian, Solday was squelched by an influential person on Haddock's team, but she persisted until she could complete the journey. Her documentary won awards and was aired on PBS all over the country.

I offered to read the book to review for this blog,thinking "Oh, another book about the 2nd half of life. Ho-hum" Was I wrong! Frankel, a journalist and obviously a man who loves meeting people and telling their stories, wrote a compelling book about wonderful people. I'd love to meet every one of them.

Each chapter is a story of an individual who was not about to relinquish their curiosity, their vitality, their quest for meaning, just because she or he was "older." No, each one went on to establish new careers, new projects, new businesses and all kinds of adventures just because they wanted to. And each adventure took hard work, dedication, perseverance. None of these people are dabblers. They're all smitten with what they're doing and nothing will get in their way.

Author Frankel has transformed himself a few times as well. He was once a psychiatric aide, then became a prize-winning investigative reporter for USA Today and later for People Magazine before going back to school to get an MFA to get credentials to write and publish poetry. I guess he's one of these people who finds success through doing what he's passionate about and finds meaningful.

This is a good read... almost a page-turner. And bound to give you inspiration and role models for going into your 3rd and even 4th Age.